ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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