'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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