I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
