it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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