I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
