I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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