you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
