I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My feet surprised me
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