Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
