Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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