how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize