that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
