WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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