Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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