I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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