If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
foreskin is a definite game changer
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
