A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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