i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
