I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Randomize
