the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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