I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
