he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
