i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
