OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
