If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
