Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize