I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
