He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
