Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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