I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
