i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
