i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
