he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
