Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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