Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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