Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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