Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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