Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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