She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
