you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
