You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
