So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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