also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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