Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
