i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
