last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
