Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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