whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
