i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
