Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
