the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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