My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
