My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
