I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
