You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
