we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
