absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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