question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
