I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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