I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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