Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers

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(916): View more from California

So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?

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(812): View more from Indiana

There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.

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(845): View more from New York

Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".

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(914): View more from New York

How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."

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(609): View more from New Jersey

he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.

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