oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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