Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize