Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
