those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
