glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
