Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
